Is it wrong to be an exhibitionist? What’s the difference between nudism and exhibitionism?
Free the nipple! Free the pussy? Is there a sex-positive version of nudism?
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I write erotica novels & short stories. I also publish handbooks on how to train us, young women, for sex and share my sex confessions as a spermivore, spermaholic, and submissive teen (18+) slut. Yes, a slut! And I’m proud of it! Sex is good, and girls who love sex shouldn’t have to hide and pretend to be “pure.” Sex is pure! And naked skin is natural. #FreeTheNipple #FreeThePussy
I enjoy being nude. It feels natural and makes me happy, not just at home. For instance, I cherish my escapades at Blind Creek Beach, a clothing-optional beach located North of West Palm Beach in Florida. On top of letting me enjoy the sun and the ocean in my birthday suit, a visit to the nude beach comes with men looking at my naked body. I like both: being naked and being seen naked. Does it mean I have a mental health disorder?
In a few of my erotica short stories, I dove into the pleasure of exhibitionism — something I enjoy in my own life. But as I kept writing about it and researching the topic, I realized that exhibitionism could mean different things to different people, and some are bad. Should I use another term? I went digging further, and I didn’t like what I found!
I’ll summarize the definitions of exhibitionism and nudism, and then we can have a conversation about it. I will also suggest a new term for a sex-positive version of nudism.
What is exhibitionism?
Let’s look at exhibitionism with the summary provided in the Britannica Encyclopedia.
Exhibitionism is “sexual gratification through the compulsive display of one’s genitals.” Ouch! I already have a problem with two words in that definition.
First of all, when I am strutting along on Blind Creek Beach, I relish seeing men looking at my naked skin, but that is not sexual gratification. I’m not having sex. And I am not compulsive about it. I get naked as often as possible, but I can live without it.
Right there, I think I shouldn’t use that word anymore, but then… Which word should I use?
What is nudism?
Let’s stick to the summaries in Britannica Encyclopedia again, for now.
Nudism, also called naturism, is “the practice of going without clothes, generally for reasons of health or comfort. Nudism is a social practice in which the sexes interact freely but commonly without engaging in sexual activities.” I like that! It’s not about having sex. And it feels natural.
But even if I fit in that description, it’s more than that. I enjoy being seen naked, and sexual arousal may happen. Is there a stage between nudism and exhibitionism?
What is wrong with exhibitionism?
Voyeurism and exhibitionism are “almost universal as a prelude to sexual activity in animals, including humans,” but “it is regarded as deviant behavior when it takes place outside the context of intimate sexual relations.” In other words, is it OK to be naked just before having sex but never outside that context? That seems pretty restrictive! Who made that rule? A repressed priest?
“Exhibitionists are usually not dangerous, although the experience is frequently perceived by the victim as threatening; violence or sexual assault seldom follows the display.” I am pretty sure that when I walk along Blind Creek Beach in the nude, none of the men looking at my tits feel threatened. Yet, I enjoy being watched, and therefore, it is more than just nudism.
Is there a prejudice against men?
Here is something I found pretty interesting.
“Exhibitionism is the most common form of sexual deviation to come into conflict with the law in Western society. Nearly all of those arrested for exhibitionism are men; the disorder, if it exists at all in women, is seldom evident. Some experts suggest that female exhibitionism is not uncommon, but is not identified as deviant behavior because there are socially acceptable ways for women to display their bodies.”
Let’s stop here for a second.
If I walk naked on a nude beach, nobody will assume that I get sexual gratification from it, and therefore, it will be considered nudism, not exhibitionism. Yet, I feel great about every inch of my body being seen by men.
But beyond the nude beach, there are many places where women are almost naked, and it is acceptable; Yet, if it is a man, it is deviant. Could the problem be that we see a lot of nude skin from females in our society but rarely from males? In that sense, the objectification of women makes naked men deviant. Ouch!
Men wear trunks that go down almost to their knees on the beach right off my front door. Meanwhile, I see women wearing bikinis that barely cover the vulva and the nipples every day (I wear those, too). We lay on our tummy, untie our bikini top, and for all intents and purposes, we are naked because the only thing left on our bodies is a rope going between our butt cheeks. We call that a bikini bottom. It’s more like a line. And it’s acceptable. Who likes tan lines, right? I don’t!
But now, what if that woman enjoys being seen like that? Does she have a mental health problem?
Exhibitionism & Nudism: The Extremes. Where’s the line?
Personally, I would like to be able to walk around naked anywhere. I don’t see why I should be ashamed of my body. Yet, I can see that it may be inappropriate in specific contexts.
At one end of the spectrum, let’s discuss the old man naked under a trench coat in the park and flashing passersby. No matter how much I support nudity, I would agree that this behavior is questionable and could indicate a mental health issue, although I am no expert in mental health.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have suntanning on a nude beach. That is totally OK. If somebody doesn’t want to be naked or see naked bodies, they can go to the regular beach. They will save on sunscreen lotion.
I bet we can all agree on these two extremes. So the question becomes: What happens in between these extremes? Who decides where the line gets drawn?
First: Free The Nipple
Let’s clear the topic of the boobs before going any further on the subject of nudism and exhibitionism.
I can’t believe that in 2024, we are still talking about this!
Men have nipples, and we frequently see them. Men’s nipples are not sex organs, and my nipples aren’t, either. If you think sex organs should be hidden (I disagree, but let’s say), then it’s the cock and the vulva, not the boobs, the tits, or the ass cheeks. These are not sex organs. If you think they are, we should also hide our hands and mouth — I use them both extensively when having sex!
So naked boobs should never be an issue anywhere. If somebody has a problem with tits, they are the ones with a mental health disorder!
That being said, since men go crazy for boobs, I regularly play with mine. For instance, I will wear a tank top that’s low under the arms, exposing my side boobs. I think frontal cleavage is overrated. Men are too used to it. A bit of side boob can drive them much crazier. Whenever I feel like pushing the limits, I lean forward a bit and let them see my entire breast and its nipple. It’s hilarious to see their faces!
Men have nipples, but every time they see female ones, it’s like they’ve never seen nipples before, and they go wild. Who has a mental health issue? Me or them?
Is exhibitionism all about sex organs?
Now that we have cleared the topic of the nipple, let’s talk about the cock and vulva.
I looked for as many definitions of exhibitionism as I could find on Google besides Britannica Encyclopedia, and they all pointed to sexual gratification and mental health disorder. So, where does that leave me?
There’s something weird every time I go to the nude beach. When I arrive, set the beach towel, and undress, I feel uncomfortable. Yes, I said I enjoy being naked and being seen like that. Yet, every time I go from being dressed to being nude, there’s a split-second when I feel unsure. I blame social conditioning for that.
After walking around on the beach and swimming in the nude for a while, I don’t even think about it anymore (unless I purposely take a stroll as a good girl to please men’s eyes). Being nude feels natural after we have freed our minds from social conditioning, telling us that we should hide our bodies, as if we should be ashamed of them.
I guess this makes me a nudist or naturalist. Fine! But once again, I also enjoy when men’s eyes are glued to my skin, traveling from my tits to my pussy and back. They rarely make eye contact.
Yet, my “exhibitionism” is not for sexual gratification. It’s for entertainment. Maybe it’s vain! But if there is any sexual gratification coming out of my actions, let’s talk about the men on that beach who masturbate at night, thinking of my body. Sexual gratification goes to them when I go around naked, not me.
Am I also a voyeur? I don’t know, but I guess so. I don’t mind seeing all these cocks on the beach and comparing them. Yet, it doesn’t entertain me as much as I get amused by observing their faces when they look at me.
Is there something else in-between exhibitionism and nudism?
That’s the million-dollar question for which I would like an answer.
There has to be something between nudism and exhibitionism.
I enjoy naturalism for all that it is, but I also enjoy displaying my naked body to strangers. It may be full nudity at Blind Creek Beach and only my side boobs on an airplane, but it’s always a tingling pleasure for me. Yet, I do not go flash people behind a trench coat in a park.
How about ‘nudistionism’ or ‘nudism plus’?
“Nudism Plus” & The Shaming of Sexual Reactions
When I first discussed this topic, I received hate mail, including one from a man who told me: “If you really want to masturbate for an appreciative crowd, go to a sex club, not Starbucks.”
In the definitions of exhibitionism that I have found and used, it only refers to sexual gratification generated by the fact of being seen in the nude, not by having sex or masturbating. I didn’t even mention these terms in this article, and yet it’s what that man got from this discussion. I realize that people masturbating in public are usually labeled as exhibitionists, and that would contribute to giving such a negative connotation to exhibitionism. And in that context, I am definitely not an exhibitionist.
A more open-minded (and probably less repressed man) sent me this comment: “Delisha, I think you are right that there surely is something that lies between nudism (completely devoid of sexuality) and exhibitionism (flaunting the body only for sexual gratification), and that middle something is probably more healthy and real than either concept alone, without necessarily compromising either as well.”
In a society where sexualized nudity is commonplace, “many who might wish to ‘normalize nudity’ have a strong rationale for wanting to completely decouple any sense of sexuality from nudity as a result.” I can see the benefit of that. My experience at a nude beach north of Miami was not great because it seemed to be populated by males on the prowl. It appears challenging for humans, especially men, I would say, to keep their heads screwed on properly when it comes to sex — but that may be because we are so obsessed with hiding it.
In any case, this man suggested an “approach to nudism that is more open and honest about sexuality.” And voilà! That is what I was trying to say!
I may consider using the term exhibitionist less often and give “nudism+” a try. Or maybe it’s nudism-grounded-in-the-reality-of-us-as-sexual-beings — but that is a long word!
About Men’s Erections on Public Beaches
While we are in thought-provoking discussions, let me bring up another point.
In nudist communities, from what I understand from my visits to nude beaches, it is “forbidden” for a man to display an erection. That puzzles me. How are they supposed to do that if it so happens that they get excited by either a beautiful woman or the sun?
Isn’t that shaming the male body? Doesn’t it define natural sexual reactions as evil? Isn’t it just as bad as people sexualizing nudity, just in the other extreme direction?
If I get sexually aroused, I will get wet, and nobody will know. If my nipples get hard on a nude beach, nobody cares. But if a man is aroused and his cock is stiffening, that man is evil. That doesn’t seem right to me.
When my boyfriend wakes up with a hard-on, I do not accuse him of anything. It’s normal. If his cock grows in his pants while looking at another woman, I may not like it, but it’s natural.
I understand that if male erections were “acceptable” on nude beaches, we would probably attract all the “flashers.” We don’t want that, but shaming males’ natural physical responses doesn’t seem right either.
Why do we even have taboo discussions about something as natural as skin and sex? We all have skin. We were all born of sex. We are sexual creatures.
#FreeTheNipple | #FreeThePussy
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